You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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