WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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