I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
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Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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