i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
