Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
