No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
