Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
