Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize