my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
