No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
