It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
A bitchslap is in order.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize