The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize
