I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
