I skipped work to stalk him.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
