I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
