You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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