so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
