Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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