Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
