The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
