it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize