we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
