careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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