i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
