how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
