So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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