yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
