why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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