member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
