Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
