my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
