My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
