I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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