ugly people sure do ruin things
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
