whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
