you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
