Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
