So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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