All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
