Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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