and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
