it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
