I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
