All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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