i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
