Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
