Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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