Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
