Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
