The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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