Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
