even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
