paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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