i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
