He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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