Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize