Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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