FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
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the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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