Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
