okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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