How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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