Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
