nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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