I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
